Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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