I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
