god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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