So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
