A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
