Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
