she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I cannot find my penis.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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