um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You dont lie about slip and slides
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
