No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
