was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
