I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
