Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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