Whod you bang
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
