I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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