Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
