Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
