I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
