So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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