Well douche your snatch and let's go!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
