Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
