i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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