I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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