Pregnant stripper...not hot.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
