the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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