just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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