I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
