Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
