he puts the penis in happiness.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
