i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
