dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
