we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
