hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
