He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
