tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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