STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Randomize
