Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
