I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
