There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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