YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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