i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How drunk are you?
Completed.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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