whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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