How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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