He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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