You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
