He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
