great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
