im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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