The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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