We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
