I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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