Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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