it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
is it fun? or sober?
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