Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
